Cleaning

So we filmed the first day of me entering the building since I first saw it three years ago. I couldn't sleep the night before. I was so anxious. Was it worse than I remembered it? Had the roof caved in? The floor dropped out?

At 7am all parties arrived and we were all full of excitement and anticipation. When I entered I have to admit I was scared. There was a foot high pile of garbage: clothes, shoes, lighters, plates, bottles, magazines, hangers, food containers. All the detritus evidencing a place that was used by human beings living on the edge of humanity, in complete squalor and destitution. We found odd items like Russian coins, a gold cufflink, encyclopedias from 1987, a thick dread lock, and a bag of suspicious white powder. What bothered me most though was the feeling I got. I could really feel the depravity in the moldy mattress, the faded porn pages and the dozens of lighters. After hours of cleaning and 13 garbage bags later, I left not because I was tired but because I felt their energy invading me. When I got home I took a long hot shower and scrubbed my hair and skin. But it's still there lingering, that feeling.